Who’s that paddling to the shore With a group of 20 more They’re well known in kayak lore Said their rival, Judy It’s only we, from West Saugerties We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers We charge for tours but the swimming’s free We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers But why does Bill wear that sly grin You won’t stay dry when you’re with him Because he likes to see you swim We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers Can I come to take a tour Can I come to take a tour Can I boat away from shore Said the fair young patron You are welcome if you have weak skills, We're Janice and Bill, kayakers We even hope that you find some thrills We're Janice and Bill, kayakers But you can’t come dressed in cotton Don’t let safety be forgotten Or your results might be rotten We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers I’ve no gear, what should I do May I borrow some from you Should I act real macho too Asked the fair young patron Bring your best gear or borrow from us Said Janice and Bill, kayakers No show of fear and no words of cuss Said Janice and Bill, kayakers At trip’s end at the end of day Forget a tip or extra pay Just have a smile while goin' away We're Janice and Bill, kayakers I want to learn to kayak Experience I do lack Will you please cut me some slack Said the timid patron Whatever your quest remember this best Said Janice and Bill, kayakers Come with your vest and we'll do the rest Said Janice and Bill, kayakers You will improve if you don’t clown Out in the bay you’ll paddle ‘round You’ll even keep the bottom down Said Janice and Bill, kayakers If you paddle with that tour Guided by Sid and Chris Moore You’d be safer on the shore Said their rival, Judy That isn’t true, now we’re through with you Said Janice and Bill, kayakers Our staff is skilled and their loyal too Said Janice and Bill, kayakers But you may find our crew is odd And Becky has a real nice bod While paddling at the Cape of Cod Said Janice and Bill, kayakers We have Jim and Ann and Jack Also Julie, Roy and Pat Who could ask for more than that Said the fair young Janice We paddle on the windy Hudson We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers We try to teach, but we keep it fun We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers And when we’re done, at our group grope We’ll speak of dreams and skills and hope We won’t call anyone a dope We’re Janice and Bill, kayakers Do you have experience prior? What's your pet's full moniker? How about your favorite color? Isn't it fun to be a kayaker? These are questions we will put to you Said Janice and Bill, kayakers They'll make you laugh and you’ll get loose too Said Janice and Bill, kayakers We don't quite care about your pet Or if you like the color red As long as you like to be wet Said Janice and Bill, kayakers They’re Atlantic Kayak Tours They use kayaks as their lures You’ll have fun, you can be sure Said the wise ones, Pat-Roy They will put you in a tippy boat They’re Janice and Bill, kayakers They really hope that you like to float They’re Janice and Bill, kayakers If from your kayak you fall out The word “Capsize” is what we shout While Bill sits back and looks about They’re Janice and Bill, kayakers I cannot brace very high And I can't brace very low I’ll say bye when in the flow Said the fair young patron No matter your brace, be it high or low Said Janice and Bill, kayakers Lean to the wave, and put on a show Said Janice and Bill, kayakers Rotate your torso come what may A little twist, not all the way Or you'll nev’r see the port where you stay Said Janice and Bill, kayakers Who’s that at my motor home Over here, why did you roam Please hold on, I’m on the phone Said our hostess, Marilyn It’s only us, we’re here for the food Said Janice and Bill, kayakers For ham and eggs we are in the mood Said Janice and Bill, kayakers And please don’t mind, we brought our friends With appetites that may offend But later on we’ll make amends Said Janice and Bill, kayakers To our level will you stoop Will you let us join your group Will you let us stop to poop Said the Malden Yacht Club We’ll let you come if you do promise Said Janice and Bill, kayakers To follow the rules that we now list Said Janice and Bill, kayakers No showing up in Yacht Club rags No drinking JD from a bag No singing songs that sound so bad Said Janice and Bill, kayakers My kayak is short and slow If I go, you’ll have to tow One of yours, may I borrow? Asked the Master and Commander We should give Ed the “Widow Maker” Thought Janice and Bill, kayakers When he falls out, we will get him later Thought Janice and Bill, kayakers He’s kind of big and clumsy too We don’t have one that fits his shoe Perhaps a barge will better do Thought Janice and Bill, kayakers My kayak is made of wood Are there termites in the ‘hood That will think of it as food Questioned Splash, the bright one You will be fine, termites shouldn’t dine Said Janice and Bill, kayakers On boats that are made of knotty pine Said Janice and Bill, kayakers But paddling on Oswego stream You may find that the waters teem With bugs that turn your stomach green Said Janice and Bill, kayakers I’ll bring down the Elaho Tipping gently to and fro In the water I may go Thought Don Juan, the brave one Bring it down, we will dare you to Said Janice and bill, kayakers You’ll master that boat, we’ve faith in you Said Janice and Bill, kayakers But if you crash, and split your head And on the kayak’s deck you’ve bled That’s alright ‘cause the color’s red Said Janice and Bill, kayakers I’ve a bottle of JD That I’ll bring for Greg and me We’ll be happy, you will see Sang Paul A., the bold one Paul’s carried in on a table large Said Janice and Bill, kayakers It had much more wood than in a barge Said Janice and Bill, kayakers We loved the songs he sang, but one; Songs of outhouse, we needed none Then he vanished when he was done Sang Janice and Bill, kayakers I don’t have the paddling gear That to you will stifle fear But to you, I will endear Claimed Don B., the strong one Now cotton is out, dry suits are in Cried Janice and Bill, kayakers Cold water shock is a mortal sin Cried Janice and Bill, kayakers We were concerned, we won’t pretend But you’re OK, we now contend ‘Cause over waves, your kayak bends Cried Janice and Bill, kayakers Why I’m here, I must surmise With these other 5 weird guys Is to cheer when they capsize Said our Greg, the good one You are here because you ought to be Said Janice and Bill, kayakers And this award we will give to thee Said Janice and Bill, kayakers By hanging tough, while out of steam You have won, in this land pristine The purple heart of Brigantine Said Janice and Bill, kayakers